You can’t exist in a vacuum – no one can. One of the simplest ways of experiencing who you are, or who you want to be, is to have a relationship with someone else. Sounds pretty obvious doesn’t it? But that’s why marriage or a long term partnership is considered by many to be the perfect state of being, as it affords the greatest number of opportunities for mental, emotional and spiritual growth. Any kind of relationship has to be a relationship to something or someone else.
You can begin by exploring the relationship you have with yourself. Until you come to terms with truly liking, loving and appreciating the person you are and also the person you want to be, it may be difficult to attract your ideal mate.
The reason why the vast majority of relationships don’t really work out is that people don’t usually look closely at themselves and so haven’t done enough self-development. Thus they unconsciously create a relationship with a partner who reflects back to them a mirror image of themselves, as they currently are – complete with their current faults and problems!
This may sound harsh but, when you begin to grasp the idea, then working on yourself can be the most exciting kind of work, because inner work can be very worthwhile. If you really don’t like yourself or your life much right now, then you can consciously choose to change whatever it is you don’t like. If you really aren’t enjoying the outcomes you’re currently experiencing, then you can consciously choose a different way, a different method, and a different approach.
It’s easy to feel guilty and think: ‘Oh hell, I’ve done it all wrong. I keep on doing it all wrong so I might as well give up trying to have any kind of relationship. Seems to me I’d be better off with no one in my life. Then, at least, I won’t screw up all the time.’
Do you know the biggest mistake many people make when it comes to creating a new and different relationship in their lives? They try to be more like the person they’re attracted to, in the hope that this will make them more appealing to their new love. This really is absolutely the opposite way of going about it. If long term happiness is the aim, become who you really want to be and then your ideal partner will be attracted to these truthful qualities in you. Follow this procedure and you will both be fulfilled and truly happy.